1.28.24
It rained during the night, well the early hours of this morning actually, not a nice gentle rain but a hard downpour. Our snow and ice are finally melting since the temperatures have soared from what they were a mere fortnight ago. Now instead of zero degrees and below when I get up in the morning, as I glance at the thermometer outside our kitchen window it reads a balmy 40 degrees. The surprising thing is how even with all this moisture, the ground is still able to drink most of it in! Oh, there is mud, lots of mud here and there, but for the most part the fields are absorbing this precious resource. Do we tend to still complain about it? Of course we do, that is human nature but at the same time we will be thankful for it when the green grass comes on.
Today I am glad it is raining out there as it makes it easier to stay curled up in my easy chair for a good portion of the day. I will of course go out and help Darrell with the feeding chores but then plan to retire to the comfort of my chair and rest. I feel so lazy when I do this, but the past week has forced rest upon me for I have once again succumbed to what is thankfully a very mild case of myocarditis. Back when the COVID vaccines were freshly released during the onslaught of the pandemic, I took the shots as soon as they became available to those of us who work in the healthcare field. Being an EMT the chance of responding to a patient with COVID was very real and the one thing I did not want to do was to bring that virus home to Darrell. Unfortunately, despite having a very healthy heart, after my second COVID jab I was one of those folks that succumbed to myocarditis.
For well over a year, I battled nasty arrythmias which progressed to the point my cardiologist was looking ahead to interventions such as ablation or pacemaker. I accepted all of this as I try to accept any bump in the road that comes along, feeling there is a reason Fate puts the occasional stumbling blocks in your path. Yet it was a challenge. A year ago, things came to a head. I had called the cardiology office requesting they send me a heart monitor – a holter monitor – to wear for the usual fortnight, as my arrythmia was yet again worsening. One night after an extremely stressful day, I was having such discomfort in my chest I came very close to calling our own ambulance crew to take me into the hospital in John Day. I was in such pain and anguish that I truly felt it would be better to die, yes, die.
As I lay there in the dark, tears running down my face, my heart doing nasty kerwallops in my chest, I begged for my heart to stop, asking The Lord to please, please stop all the pain…. And He did.
I cannot say for sure what happened, I have thought of it often and not shared this with many folks up until today. I was expecting, and yes asking, for my heart to stop. It did stop, but not in the way I had intended. I finally fell into an exhausted sleep, my pain eased, and my heart continued to beat. The next morning, I awoke feeling sure I would need to go to the hospital in John Day, berating myself for not calling 911 during the night. But as I lay there for a moment, I realized my heart was no longer in pain, in fact, my heart felt normal, no funny little beats going on, nothing, just a steadily beating heart. Keeping a close eye for a return of my arrythmia, I went through the day and the next. Not a skipped beat, not a symptom to cause me concern, nothing… just a steady, regular rhythm. How blessed I felt and how truly thankful and humbled that Someone had heard my plea and helped me.
I contacted my cardiologist and told him to hold off sending the monitor, relating how my arrythmia was abruptly gone but also refraining from going into detail of my nighttime plea for help. Surely no one would believe me! My doctor could not explain what had caused the sudden reversal to my ailing heart but was of course delighted! Since then, my heart has been happy and healthy until a week ago that is. Not that I am in any degree of discomfort or danger I might quickly add, just that my heart is letting me know that severe stress can have no part in my life these days. Thankfully my recurrence of myocarditis is very mild, just extreme fatigue, a little shortness of breath when I try to do much bit thankfully a steadily beating heart.
As I glance out my window it is light outside. The rain is once again pelting down but a fire is crackling merrily away in the wood cookstove. I am feeling so very thankful today as I sit here with my second cup of tea of the day by my side. Darrell is still dozing in bed but will be up and about soon. It is a lazy day today. I have wanted to share this story with you, my dear readers, for a good while now. Today just felt the right day to do so. I am not an overly religious person; I truly believe there is a Higher Power that watches over us. I am not one who usually asks and prays for things, but inside me I know that The Lord heard me beseech him for help that night, and he answered my prayer. Not in the way I had intended, but He must have a reason for that.
Today is a new day, a good day, a blessed day. Yes, it is a tad gloomy out there but that makes it easier to stay inside and vegetate. Later on, I will put a nice beef roast in the oven for Sunday dinner, maybe make some Yorkshire puds and roast potatoes to go with it. Life can throw so many challenges in our path, sometimes seemingly insurmountable obstacles, yet there is usually a way around any hurdle if we but look for it and are determined to plod on.
