3.16.25
It’s raining out there this morning. Not a gentle, quiet drizzle, but a steady downpour. The type that wakes you up in the wee hours of the morning then soon has you snuggling deeper under the covers before lulling you back to sleep. The rain is a good accompaniment to my spirits today, so I do not begrudge the deluge. It has been one H E Double Hockey Sticks of a week.
I do not like the word goodbye, never have actually and as such seldom use it, preferring instead to say things like “See you later!” or “Cheerio for now!”, “Back in a bit!” or just a plain old “Bye!”. So, it was hard this week to have to say a final farewell to one of our faithful dogs. It was unexpected and yet if I am honest, the thought was there in the back of my mind that this parting was soon to be inevitable. Our old lass Bella’s time had come to leave this world.
She was a daughter of my Brandy dog who was a stellar girl, my dearest four-legged companion and grand mum to many pups. Brandy raised three dandy litters of puppies and as good a mum as she was, always seemed happy when the last pup left for its new home. Then, one of her pups from her last litter wormed its way into our hearts. Since we had already decided Brandy’s puppy raising days were over, we chose to keep the feisty little female, naming her Bella.
Bella grew into a perfect example of what a Rottweiler should be. Strong, well mannered, a good cow dog, gentle with children and especially loved babies! Friendly with people when we were around but a fine protector of our home when we were not. A great catcher of pack rats and other rodents, but most of all, extremely loyal and my best friend.
When her mum at the grand old age of 12 – yes, that is considered old for this breed – passed away a good nine months after having surgery for breast cancer, Bella seemed devastated. Her lifelong companion was gone. She mourned for a short while, as all animals do, and we as humans are at a loss as to how to ease their confusion other than to shower them with love. Brandy is buried by the paddock fence where she used to love to lay in the sun, just a stone’s throw from the house. A craggy stump marks her grave, and daffodils are planted around it. As I looked out the dining room window the other day the first green spears of those daffodils had begun poking their heads above the ground, a sure sign spring is here.
Eventually we brought a new puppy into our and Bella’s life. This pup, a smart, somewhat stubborn but beautiful girl, brought joy to us from the moment we saw her. It was as if we were meant to have this bonnie lass and yes, Bonnie became her name. The interesting thing is, Bonnie’s grandmother was a dog named Bella Rose, a daughter we had sold from Brandy’s very first litter! Oh, and no we did not name her by the way! So, in Bonnie runs the blood of our dear old Brandy girl. It was not long before Bonnie and Bella became inseparable and as Bonnie matured, Bella took on the role of the wise old matron. They made a fine pair!
A couple of years ago, age started to settle on Bella. As she turned eight, we saw signs of her getting more and more stiff and sore. Although she was as eager as ever to follow us as we fed the cows, fixed fence or accomplished other chores on the farm, she was also very content to lay on the deck in the sunshine or curl up on her blanket in the house when the weather was nasty. One of our wonderful vets from John Day came out to the farm to check her over and we started her on a regime of a pain tablet a day to ease her discomfort.
Then, last week, we noticed a sudden change in our Bella girl. She had turned 10 in February and for the past couple of months we had seen a definite slowing down in her gait and more of a tendency to lie and wait at the barn instead of following me down to feed the milk cows. Yet this was a much more disturbing change, she would cry out if, after laying down for a while, she went to get up on her feet. Within a few days just moving her head or changing position as she lay by the fire in the living room would make her cry and whimper. Something was very amiss. These dogs are so stoic, it takes a lot to make them cry or show pain and my dear girl was in pain. Not wanting to lift her into the truck and have her endure an hour-long drive to the vet’s office in John Day, I called them, and Jandy said she would come out to the house.
When Jandy arrived, the thought had already crossed my mind that the outcome for my girl may not be good. Two years ago, Jandy had mentioned the possibility of bone cancer being on the horizon for Bella. Now, with this sudden onset of acute pain in not only her hind leg but her shoulders, back and neck, the prognosis was not good. Yes, other pain medication could be tried but all that might do is temporarily relieve some of the discomfort and with the pain Bella was in, there was no guarantee it would help at all. We knew and agreed the time had come.
Keeping Bonnie in the laundry room, I took my Bella girl outside on the lawn, having her lay down beside me while Jandy went to her truck to prepare. As Bella laid her head in my lap and gazed up at me, I struggled not to cry, just stroked her head as I murmured words to her, telling her she was my best girl. It was cloudy and gloomy outside, a chill wind had picked up, but Bella’s coat was nice and warm under my hand. Jandy returned to Bella’s side and gently administered a shot of sedative, easing my girl into a relaxed, sleepy state. We sat there beside her, and I thanked Jandy for her incredible compassion.
As Bella became more and more sleepy, it was time. I moved to sit behind her, my voice gentle in her ear as I stroked her fine head, my tears now falling freely. Suddenly, the sun broke through the grey clouds on the horizon bathing us in its warm glow just as Jandy slipped that final needle into Bella’s vein. My hand on her side I felt my girl’s heart stop and knew she was at last out of pain.
After Jandy departed, I sat for a while, letting my grief take me before rising and getting Bella’s favourite blanket. Gently I laid her on it, wrapping it around her for the final time. Together, Darrell and I buried her beside the big wild currant bush behind the house. Darrell brought a big craggy stump to set on her grave, just like we did for her mum. Soon, she too will have daffodils planted around her, maybe some iris too. For now, there is just a big hole in our hearts. Bonnie lass is lost and unconsolable.
This is not goodbye my dear Bella girl, it is cheerio for now, because I know in my heart I will see you again, one of these days.
