4.4.21
Goodness gracious me! Can it really be two days short of a whole year when I began my Battle with Bell’s? It hardly seems as if such an amount of time has passed yet here we are, the beginning of April is upon us again. Yesterday Darrell tilled up the inside garden after the last of the Brussel sprouts were harvested. Composted manure was spread and worked into the outside garden area where corn and beans and squash will soon be planted. Yes, spring work has begun in earnest and here I sit, contemplating all that has to be done as I sip yet another cup of tea.
I made a decision the other day. Once a week without fail I am going to leave the calves out with Heidi and Lass and forego the morning’s milking so as to just take a day to have a lie in. I did that yesterday, turned Heidi’s calf out into the big paddock with her so this morning I could just stay in bed for as long as I wanted to. Quite a luxury to lie in until seven o’clock of a morning! The sun was well over the horizon when I finally swung my legs out of bed and headed into the kitchen to pop the kettle on for tea. Darrell has been after me for ages to start slowing down and taking things easy, I think he has a good point there!
Of course, this past month has seen me taking things easy, too easy in fact as I have had to cave in once again to my body telling me to slow down. Always a person known for having a slow pulse and low blood pressure, over the past few weeks my body has decided to test this to the core. My mind and spirit have been up for spring work, but my body had other ideas. My heart, normally strong as an ox, decided to start giving me fits. Now as someone who routinely teaches fellow EMT’s the fascinating art of reading and interpreting cardiac rhythm strips, it was both fascinating and yes, a wee bit concerning, to note the frequency and intensity of the FLB’s – funny little beats – my heart was starting to display. Not only that but my blood pressure was taking alarming plunges to boot!
Waking up at night to have one’s heart doing a tarantella in one’s chest is not a pleasant sensation. Actually, I would say it was more of a foxtrot than a tarantella, a tarantella being a wee bit faster than a foxtrot… but I digress. Capturing on a cardiac monitor what exactly was going on with the old ticker at least reassured me it was by no means life threatening but the episodes of low blood pressure – 80/54, 86/66 and routinely 96/66 – did make me a wee bit more concerned. A trip to the doctor’s office and subsequent appointment with a cardiologist ensued along with the wearing of a holter monitor for 7 days to capture those FLB’s.
The biggest challenge during this time of waiting for answers has been the extreme fatigue. As those who know me will understand, not being able to do all the everyday things I normally do is beyond frustrating! The simple chore of walking from the house to the barn, a mere 200 yards, can see me puffing like a 90 year old who has been a chain smoker all her life. Forking hay into the trailer to feed the milk cows leaves me weak and wobbly at times. Darrell, bless his heart, is pampering me like mad and strictly enforcing time in my easy chair watching episodes of “Vera” and “Doc Martin” while he takes over all but milking chores! I took myself off responding on the ambulance too, as it would not be good to be starting an IV on a patient and have myself keel over because my blood pressure suddenly dropped! Not really professional at all!
The cardiologist visit came round, it was a “virtual” one, and it seems my FLB’s are not quite severe enough to be treated with medication although a stress test and echocardiogram are slated for later this month. Something inside me is niggling away thinking this is not just my heart going on the blink. I know my father had a dicky heart, but mine has always been strong and healthy! If only I could get my energy back! Sometimes knowing more than the average person about how one’s body works can be a double edge sword!
Ah! The challenges life throws at us! As a firm believer in Fate, I have to keep telling myself there is a reason for this latest trial. After a year of dealing with my Bell’s palsy I have resigned myself to the fact that my face may never return 100% to the way it was, and I am quite fine with that! After all, there are those who have had much, much worse trials and tribulations in their life. One just has to take the lemons that come one’s way and make a delicious lemon meringue pie out of them, right? This latest little stumbling block is just that, a bump in the road that once stumbled over will make us watch our step a tad closer.
Just as I have learned more than I would ever want to know about the human nervous system due to my Bell’s palsy, this latest challenge in my life has once again ignited the spark to delve deeper into learning about the intricacies of the human body. So even though I sometimes find myself terribly impatient at having to wait in order to discover what is going on with me – I am trying to be a patient patient – staying upbeat at times is challenging. Darrell is my rock. When I feel sad and start sinking into the depths of despair, he lifts me up and comforts me. I know he is worried too as he is not at all used to seeing me like this. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, we will get this figured out and it will be just one more life lesson thrown my way.
The sun is shining, Lass is due to drop her calf any day now and one of the Banty hens has found a fine place to lay a clutch of eggs which I am sure she will start sitting on soon. The grass is growing, Daffodils are blossoming, and each day brings new life and new opportunities into our world. Goodness, a lemon meringue pie sounds pretty delicious right now!
