12.1.24
It is a rather chilly start to the day as I sit here at just a wee bit past four o’clock in the morning although the fire crackling away in the wood stove will soon have it toasty warm in the living room. I really should have a pot of brittle on the go since the temperature outside is a balmy 22 degrees with clear skies and twinkling stars, but instead the urge to write is upon me. Since we are smack in the middle of a very hectic bazaar season, orders for our wares coming in left and right, I figured a wee bit of down time is in order. The brittling can wait until tonight and the next few early mornings and late evenings. My body is telling me to just sit here and rest for a bit. Sometimes one must be smart enough to comply!
Thanksgiving was upon us before we knew it this year. Oh, the calendar heralded its approach, we knew it was just around the corner, but somehow it did not seem time for the end of November to be upon us. Why summer was just barely over! Looking back, I wonder if those long months of fire season robbed us of more time than we realized. Starting back in mid-July it seems as if little was accomplished for the next month or more as the wildfires raged. Before we knew it, September was upon us and a few early frosts in the garden had the harvesting and preservation of produce forefront in our minds. Darrell worked tirelessly to get our woodsheds filled for winter and we are now reaping the reward of his hard labour.
With the coming of welcoming rains and the sudden dip in daily temperatures, my thoughts turned towards the making of our Christmas cakes, getting the soap boxes in the back room filled, lotion made and set aside, all in anticipation of the holiday season ahead. Normally at this time of year there are other important things on the agenda. We usually have several pigs in the butcher pen fattening up as they eat away on fruit from the orchard and whey from my cheese making. A steer should be hanging in the cooler awaiting processing into little white packages for the freezer, but that is not happening this season. There are no pigs rooting about in the pen, the steer is still happily standing on his four legs munching away on hay, the butcher shop is quiet.
It is not that we are giving up on these endeavours. There will one day be more piglets in the pen and that steer will eventually end up in the cooler, just not quite yet. For sometimes when we refuse to listen to our body, when we refuse to acknowledge it might be time to slow down a tad on some of the more strenuous work one does, one’s body takes matters into its own hands. I think that is what my body has done to me recently and it is making its point quite succinctly!
A couple of years ago my heart, as those of you who have followed my musing for a while may recall, went into a bit of a tizzy fit. Just as quickly as the aberrant beats began, they subsequently abruptly ceased! After numerous tests during that last time and this, my heart itself is fantastically healthy, more like that of a 21 year old according to the cardiologists than a coming 65 year old and for that I so very thankful. However, the FLB’s – A.K.A. Funny Little Beats as we in EMS call them – have increased substantially in this latest episode. What may have brought this on? Now that is the million dollar question! Whatever it was, they are here and pestering me to no end!
Usually a person suffering from a “significant burden of PAC’s” (premature atrial contractions) as they term it, can be treated at first by medication. Naturally, I am one of those odd ducks that cannot go that route! Most people suffering from PAC’s have high blood pressure, mine is naturally low… I mean really low! Most people smoke and drink, I do neither. Most people are not very active, I certainly do not fall in that category! Plus, most people are not significantly affected by a significant PAC burden, I absolutely am! When the mere chore of loading a trailer with hay for the milk cows and then forking it into their feeder of a morning can leave me breathless and weak as a kitten, there is something wrong. When walking from the house to the barn with my milker sees me having to stop twice to take a breather, there is definitely something wrong! When I reluctantly let my fellow EMT ladies on the ambulance know my pager will be turned off and I am unable to respond because my blood pressure has taken a massive drop, there is something wrong.
Yet all is not doom and gloom! I have on more than one occasion had to give myself a stern talking to. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I looked for the silver lining. Sure, I get a tad disgruntled when I think of all the things I should be doing outside. Glancing out the window I think “My goodness I need to get those windows washed!” or think about doing my major yearend scrubbing and polishing of knickknacks and such that adorn the tops of our kitchen cupboards, it irks me not to have the umph to get cracking. Instead, under Darrell’s watchful eye for he has been so worried about me, I resign myself to sitting down more often and taking a break. Being in less of a hurry to get outside to start the morning chores. In other words, to do what I have said I would do so many times in the past, slow down, take it easy and relax a wee bit. The windows will get washed, and the knickknacks polished one of these days. It will not hurt the cows to wait another half an hour for their breakfast on days when I am feeling especially slow.
As someone who firmly believes in Fate, I must accept there is always a reason behind what sometimes seems an undesirable occurrence. Though I often moan and groan because I have to put off doing this or that due to feeling I do not quite have enough petrol in my tank, that is okay. For there are so many more folks out there with problems far, far worse than mine! I wake up each morning and feel gratitude for being able to swing my legs out of bed and walk into the front room unaided. I am thankful for the time spent sitting beside my dearest each day in peaceful companionship. I am blessed to have the life I do. So what if I have a few FLB’s that make me slow down a tad of late! Maybe instead of me just saying it is time to take things a wee bit easier, my body has decided to make it happen and that is quite fine by me.
My morning musings are done, my teacup is empty, and it is still dark outside and crisply cold. Hmmm, rather good brittling weather! I think I will pull out my brittling pot, get another cup of tea on the brew then get cracking!